I Am A Machine.

ian FTS Blog

25 years together I am glad my sense of humour has rubbed off on the good lady. Those of you who received Mrs’E’s email last week will have seen how comedic she now is after 25 years together and 20 years married to one of the funniest men on the planet.

I did have a little mishap last week and I have found that as the years tick by these new experiences pop up a bit more often. I liken it to car’s; the old doddery bangers go on forever with no style but the fine-tuned machines such as Ferrari’s only need the slightest thing to go wrong to get them off the road.

I am of course the finely tuned machine.

It was nothing serious just a trapped nerve in my back. On waking I did think I was paralysed and the first thought in my head was how the hell has that happened? I went to bed fine, 4 hours later I cannot move. Two or three days later when I could once again get myself up I did – as Sam put it – shuffle around like a robot – for a few days as my head, shoulders and torso moved all as one unit, she shared this with Soccerstato Steve who then thought it amusing to call me C3PO. All of a sudden the Villa fan from Brum is getting involved. It was wuite funny he generated a horse service email to be sent to me with the horse selections all being robot names, some people have too much time on their hands. Personally, it was more like a cross of C3PO and the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Back to my ailments. A few years back for me it was frozen shoulder, from nowhere the inability to raise my arm more than a foot or so materialised one morning. This took a year to go away and within a few weeks the other arm did the same thing. All very bizarre? Throw in mysterious hairs growing from my ears, the odd long eyebrow, the addition of glasses and I would have to ascertain at the ripe old age of 46 I am entering middle age despite being finely tuned. Not sure it is that much fun. Where do these things suddenly appear from. What part of evolution requires long hairs to appear from inside my ears at the age of 45?

The truth is I do need to get a bit fitter movement wise. I hardly drink alcohol and I eat healthily but I don’t do much actively. 10 hours plus 7 days a week in front of PC screens is not the way forward. I am working on automating a lot more of what I do so that I can get on the golf course by 11am each day after the racing prices are finalised and I then don’t see why I won’t enjoy Spurs title triumphs in person over the next 50 years or so. I certainly could not play golf every day but would oike to tune up the swing sometime to give good old suggsy62 a sound pasting. My last meeting with Paul he declared he had 3 handicaps, I think that says it all, golf the last bastion of fair sport and we have a guy with 3 handicaps! To quote Keegan, I will love it , just love it when I beat him.

Those talking of my demise last week were very premature I assure you plenty of longevity in the family bloodline. I now even have a stand-up desk! I will be here for years.

Moving on I have steam building up inside of me now and it is all going to come to a head. I ditched the review side of this game some years back as it wound me up and didn’t really go anywhere but I have found myself dragged back into it this last few months – freely I add, and it really is starting to piss me off again.

It will soon be time to name names. The short price favourite service has decimated a bank and on one bet backing Italy this week at short odds on, the only reasoning seemed to be that “Italy always get out of these situations”. So, we now bet on stereotypes from 20-30 years ago. That sort of thing drives me mad. I don’t mind the losing of services and we have had losing services it is the lack of humility and wanting to put things right and just pure greed to rip people off. The day after that result which has seen a £1200 loss in a very short time after a huge fanfare of sales spiel the same guy sends a mail out for a £1000 subscription to services that just do not win – and does it with gusto.

I will revisit the Azzuri’s failure to reach the World Cup for the first time since 1958 next month, the truth is it has been an ageing team in decline for some time now with a poor manager, reminds me of England a few years ago

This week someone else who has been winding me up I get what is being called Fake Mug bets I mean do me a ******** favour. These people need digging out and to stop taking the piss out of you guys as if you don’t have a brain.  They are relentless. The “mug bet” people just email day after day, tripe after tripe all aimed at lining their pockets. They had a ruck sometime back this year with a good friend of mine who helped build the original Betfair exchange but now is a punter who operates an all bot style in and out trading pre-race mostly automated that he built himself. These “mug bet” people launched a service that appealed to him as it was a bot based thing using what were called I believe data plans, not up my street but you loaded that day’s data plans and the bot did the rest apparently.

Day 1 he told me it could never work, he knows the exchange and said it had to fail with 100, 200-300 users whatever these guys get as they bombard people with marketing emails – and don’t think for one minute they have any restrictions on numbers it is all smoke and mirrors. Anyhow he went on to the forum which is most unlike him and politely stated that it could not work and early days it seemed people were getting different results as the bot triggering bets was getting different prices for different people or the available money had gone so no bet was placed in the time frame. A complete bag of nails. We have encountered and are fixing this exact issue on FTS as we look to head towards seamless automated betting, it is the Nirvana but not without substantial issues for mass people to use. He of course got rounded on by the providers, filed it all as too much hassle and requested a refund. I searched for the service yesterday after receiving the “mug bet” email, I can’t even find it now.

The data service was a good few hundred quid plus the assumed accrued losses. I have no idea where it has disappeared to or the providers may have given all the money back, but I highly doubt it. They promote something every single day often 2-3 times a day and yesterdays offering (and now another 10 days of bombardment will follow) is “Fake Super Fake, dodge the bookies never get your account closed Bookie Accumulator Mug Bets which are not mug bets but provide you with lifetime riches”.

Honestly I get so steamed up it traps nerves in my back.

I will tell you 100% an accumulator compounds a bookies overround so diminishes any edge you have. If you did happen to keep winning accumulator bets (unlikely) you will still get closed. Bookmakers are not imbeciles they are in business, they want losers not winners and will soon root you out no matter what you think your angle is. I work with and have worked with some of the cleverest in the game particularly in racing and it is all complete tosh this sort of thing.

These people simply want to line their pockets with your cash. They are excellent at it. I dont blame you guys as they just hammer you into submission. The emails asking me if I am out of my mind as I have not signed up to their latest fabulous offer as their traciking tells them so, really does make my blood boil. Not one of them can show a bet, not one of them, they act as if they are your best mate. No matter what the latest buzz word is, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Greyhounds with 5 legs, Colossus 20 leg, spreadbetting, accumulators they have a system for it. I do this game day in day out and lucky to meet 1 or 2 really good judges a year, these guys have 365 of the feckers every year. They sit in their scammy little dens thinking how can we rip people off today, ********. This post will have repercussions, but I was a lot more naïve in this game online 5 years ago I am putting preparations in place to really get into the heart of this BS.

It is about being a right person. We will have losers, we may have disasters, the key is that is not the intention and if it goes wrong, I always want to address it and try to put it right. Yesterday I went and met an FTS member for coffee who I happen to like as he has always been good to the site and is juts a good egg. He has not made much progress, so I went and met him for an hour or so and talked it through and we have a plan. I want him to win and will help him to do so. I had a phone call 2 days ago with a women I had never met from Wales ( see I don’t discriminate) and she told me how she had bought crap after crap and we talked through a plan for her starting in January 2018. I wish I could help everyone but time is limited but we give it a good go. I don’t sleep much anyway but I would not sleep at all peddling crap with no conscience and I don’t know how they do it. I know a group of them meet in London for big piss up show off dinner must be absolutely bloody awful!

Rant over, but more to come on that.

Back to the comedic Mrs E, not sure whether to let her have the keyboard again. She is whisking me away today onwards to celebrate 25 years of being together and 20 years of marriage as our anniversary comes around. We have never ever celebrated an anniversary so not sure what this is all about all of a sudden but she is a good old girl (6 years senior) and has had to endure more sport themed chaos in her life than most so I am more than happy to oblige. We also have a good friend turning 50 and celebrating 30 years of marriage so moving onto those celebrations also. I am really looking forward to it to be honest, get my trapped nerves away from a screen for a while.  (I will be crying out for a screen about 4 days in, I guarantee it)

I will not be around until the end of the month in any capacity other than to post the football and make sure other selections go out and things are not going pear shaped. If an email for any service is not delivered to you it is unlikely I will be able to forward it as I won’t be keeping an eye out so you will have to use the website members area (aimed at Hotmail users there, why people persist I do not know!).

Services and football will not be interrupted in anyway and we have a kotchel of football ahead over the next month and some nice profits will be made I am sure.


Portal DELTA members I have updated your page please visit it as subs now due. Will sort any queries when back

Portal ECHO commenced on 1st November and is now running for those involved, a very small profit in this time of limited football already made. If you wish to get in for December 1st then visit the Portal ECHO sign up page –

http://ftsincome.co.uk/portal-echo-20172018/ , new applications are ok until then end of this year and then that is the Portal done for new clients.

The first update for that along with agreements will be available in the first week December.

(Agreements being sent for members of both Portals)

The FTS trading days are pretty much full certainly Birmingham and London, I think London has couple of spaces as people have shuffled venues, I am loving that material and looking forward to those days and sharing it as I think it will get some really going well. I see some familiar names and new so look forward to meeting all attendees in London for the first one on the 10th December.

We of course have the NLD this weekend, I expect the Gooner’s will win and “The Great Poch’s” away record against the rest of the top 6 to drop a few more percentage points. I did like the ease with which we dispatched Palace last time out!


I think that is all from me, as stated in most blogs I write them for my therapy not yours but thank you for reading. I will finish with a bit of nostalgia as I enter this middle age period of life. I was sent this video link and for those of us born in the late 60’s early 70’s ( 70’s for me by the way) and I found it quite enjoyable and agree with the sentiment at the end of the video. I may revisit this subject in a future blog. You do need volume and there is the odd swear word but nothing offensive, in fact the Michael Fish line is simply superb. If your under 25 it wont mean a jot to you and you will think us “oldies” are a different species all together. Got a few things to cover in blogs going to diversify into a bit of Trump, Transgender and Race as well as gambling themes, as I say therapy, these issues bubble inside me on a daily basis. Should be fun! See you first week of December. Have a great weekend unless your a Gooner of course 😉


Enjoy the video, sound up and sing along.